My desperate attempts at making fast money

OK, I can't rely on responses to this blog or donations from strangers, so I'm trying out this thing I found. I can make money when people click the link below (and ultimately buy the product advertised). At least that's the way I take it to work. Anything is worth a shot. P.S. I will still accept donations from any kind souls willing and able through Paypal: psi_queen@yahoo.com Thank you!

Where can I turn?

I am a sad pathetic case. Everyday I contemplate suicide. I've even considered faking my own death - that is if I could figure out how to do it on my own. I don't exactly have any connections to the "underground" and have no idea how to get a new identity. So mainly I think about suicide. I'm most certain that if it weren't for my kids, I'd be dead by now. They are the only thing that ties me to this world. I don't want to abandon them.

What is a person supposed to do when they need money desperately but don't have the credit rating to get a loan? Where are the options for these people? Payday loans are a ripoff, just putting desperate people further into desperation.

Everytime I even think about my financial situation I cry. I hate myself for getting this far, and I hate myself for the fact that I don't know what to do now.

I am now 2 months delinquent on mortgage.

I owe $1100+ to utilities

I owe $2000+ to credit cards

I owe about $4000 to payday loans

I owe my children a huge apology, because if your father ever finds out how much in debt I've gotten - I will surely kill myself. There is nothing in this world that can convince me to face him if he were to find out. His rage, his disappointment, his distrust from there on is far too much for my fragile emotions to handle. I am not weak by any means, I've had to put up with so much through my short pitiful life. But having him find out would put on the finishing touches to the Hell on Earth I've dug for myself. And I'm sorry, but I think the heavenly Father is far more forgiving than your father.

Isn't there anyone who can help?

No Help, and no more money

Well, I am not getting any help. Probably since I'm not submitting to search engines, and I doubt people are searching for this kind of site.

At this point I am in way over my head, but continue to struggle through the deep water.

On payday I realized that I would have to take out another (4th) payday loan in order to have enough to bring my checking account positive again. But I got to thinking, and I realized that continuing to struggle to right my checking account every payday, and then relying on the Overdraft Protection to pay bills and such, was just costing even more money in OD fees then to just keep the money, and take out the 4th Payday loan on my own. I will have to put in money back into the checking account little by little. I have 2 months before they close it. Perhaps if I keep in good communication with them they can delay closure for a while.

As for the 4th Payday Loan. It should get me through until next payday. Then guess what? In order to pay mortgage I'm going to have to find ANOTHER place to get ANOTHER Payday Loan!!

I seriously just need a $10,000 personal or "debt consolidation" loan so I can pay off all the payday loans, my personal loan, and my checking account. Then I could get back on track by making NORMAL payments to the 1 loan, my bills and credit cards. All these Payday Loans are screwing me ROYAL!!

I can't tell you how many times suicide has come into my mind. But I won't do it because I have kids. And because I don't know if my Life Insurance would pay if my death was deemed a suicide.

HELP HELP HELP!!

I need money so badly it's definitely not funny. My checking account is negative $1000+ and I still have checks pending which will now bounce since I'm over my overdraft protection limit.



I get paid on Friday but after I pay off the Payday Loans and reborrow I'll be left with about $600. And I have to pay $200 of that to my other loan and $100 to my work loan. This of course does not get my checking account back to positive which means I can't write any more checks. Which means I have NO money at all!!



I am totally screwed!! I'm racking my brain trying to figure out where to get more money. I need like $1500 yesterday.



Someone please help! Donate money to psi_queen@yahoo.com

How I got here in the first place

Ok, I've dug a hole for myself and am currently sitting in it.

I ask myself over and over...how did I get here? Why did it all go this way?

Mostly I realize that I just make way too many stupid mistakes.


It all started back in November when I, because of laziness, make an accounting error in my checking account balances and somehow ended up over $500 in the hole.

To make up this deficit and keep my checking account positive... I made the mistake of taking out a Payday loan. I went with the intention of only borrowing $600, but then was told I could borrow $1200, I stupidly thought that "oh, ok, I'll borrow the $1200 that way I only use $600 and the rest I can use toward my first payments". Well, nothing goes as well as it's planned.

I borrowed the $1200 and did indeed use leftover to make the 1st payments. But then I realized there was absolutely no way I could make the next payments. This is because with a Payday loan you are required to make payments on all pending contracts...EVERY PAYDAY, and NOT once a month like with a real loan. And in reality my monthly mortgage payment takes up 1 whole paycheck leaving only enough for gas money.

So, in desperation I approached my work (one of the perks of working for a small company is you can approach them with financial issues) and borrowed what I thought was enough to payoff the Payday loan. I did indeed pay off the Payday loan but upon the next month realized that I could not meet the deal I made with my work ($200 per month). Therefore I ended up taking out a Payday loan, again.

Well, this went on for a couple of months, each payday I'd payoff the Payday Loan and then reborrow in order to have money to pay the bills. Then I decided a credit card would be easier to juggle then a Payday Loan. So I started applying but quickly discovered I had horrible credit. So I ended up being accpeted by 2 of the highly advertised "Bad Credit - no Problem" credit cards. Unfortunately neither one gave me enough to cover my debts in full.

I then discovered my checking account had an Overdraft Protection plan up to $900. This is when my real troubles started. I now fell to relying on this OD protection to allow me to pay bills even when the cash wasn't in the account.

Then, in my infinite wisdom (ha ha) I figured that getting a regular loan to pay off the Payday Loans and the other debts would be exactly what I needed, then I would only have to pay 1 payment per month. Sounded perfect.

I managed to get a loan, but afraid to make too long of a contract, I mistakenly borrowed too little.

Now I am over about $900 in debt to my checking account, $1200 in debt to credit cards, and $1500 in debt to Payday loans.

Each payday I payoff one Payday loan, then reborrow to pay off the next Payday loan then reborrow to pay off the next Payday loan, and then reborrow to have money to deposit in the checking account. The next two weeks until payday are full of transactions relying on my OD protection on the checking account.

Ok, you can say it...I'm a total idiot. I know it. The stress of all this is surely going to kill me, I'm already feeling the symptoms of depression.

So anway, kicking myself doesn't solve the money problem. That is why I am turning to the general public. I've heard of cases where people post their financial strains and have been given funds by the generous people of the world. I am hoping I can tap into that now.

Please help me! I need to get out of this mess before I can set my accounts straight, needless to say I will never EVER let myself get lazy with my checking balances again!!

Please donate (even $1 helps) thru Paypal to psi_queen@yahoo.com

Thank you in advance!